Pheonix Rysen

A rather random set of thoughts decided to invade my mind this morning. Some musings about the need for control that I personally experience and I know everyone probably struggles with from time to time. Hey, Look I am shrinking my own head. *giggle Snort* Everyone's need to feel in control shows up differently. Mine shows in the need to have everything neat and tidy, in it's own place and that place better be the same each time. Amongst also always trying to find a way to ensure out comes. My "manager" or "supervisor" positions were obtained because not only did I feel that I could do a better job than those in them prior, but because I needed to control things from those positions for myself. Those are the ones I know of anyway; there are probably more that those closest to me could illuminate. Each of my "need for control" areas come from different segments of my life, but all those segments have one thing in common; I was seriously hurt...

Beltane Pronounced: bee-YAWL-tinnuh, BELL-tinnuh, ˈbeltān Astrological Timing: 15* Taurus Calendar Timing: May 1 Sun Zodiac Sign: Taurus Sun Zodiac Sign Element: Earth Sun Zodiac Sign Element Quality: Fixed Moon Phase: Waxing Half Themes: passion, mischief, sensuality, sexuality, beauty, romance, fertility, vitality, abundance [1] Also known as: May Day, Walpurgisnacht, Floralia, Calan Mai [1] History/Mythology: By the time May 1st arrives in the Northern Hemisphere, spring is truly in full swing and the balance is tipping toward summer. The heat of the Sun increases with each day, and the Earth turns ever-deepening shades of green as buds and blossoms give way to the emerging new leaves. Flowers seem to explode along the roadsides while birds, bees, and other flying creatures fill the air. And even if a stray chill sneaks back in for a day or two around this time, there’s still no going back—winter is decidedly over. [1] In fact, May 1st marked the offic...

Somethings you have to go on blind trust in life in order to get anywhere. You can have a house professionally inspected, but if you think about it, you are hiring a stranger. This person may have been recommended or not. In the end you are counting on being able to hold them accountable should they not report something amiss. However I have yet to hear of anyone successfully holding them accountable for missing something. When you buy a car it is the same. Both of these items are major investments but you have to do them pretty much on blind trust. Unless you do the inspections your self, then you have to rely on your own understanding of things. One thing that can be counted on in a situation where the professionals fail is that more often than not the person injured will not expend more resources with that individual (company) and will often warn others away from the individual or company. However; word of mouth is not all that reliable as there are many factors that go into why...

Dear High Priestess Brythwen and High Priest Thorn, If saying no to something and insisting that it will cause harm is being a Spoiled Brat and Bitch, then I am. If insisting on having the right to have my own emotions or lack there of is being a Spoiled Brat and Bitch, then I am. If pointing out that what you are doing will cause harm to another is being a Spoiled Brat and Bitch; then I am. If pointing out that at some point in life you have to admit you are no longer capable and that you are at that point is being a Spoiled Brat and Bitch; then I am. If letting you have your way after I said no to something and then insisting you take responsibility for the harm done is being a Spoiled Brat and Bitch; then I am. And Yes I am Also the Warrior Queen Fluffy Bunny who champions everyone's right to NOT be a part of your Tradition and still be respected. You two did irredeemable damage to myself and then told me to go away and shut up. I don't care if your entire Tradi...

We all have power, the question is how we use it. Power like magic is not inherently good or evil, but it can be used for the concepts of good or evil. Remember though that good and evil are constructs that are often based off of our concept of what is perceived as beneficial to ourselves or not. There are some rather universal "bad" things such as murder, rape, etc. But for the most part "good" and "evil" are very subjective. So long as you have the ability to interact with the world, you have power. How you spend that power and how the results of the use of that power are perceived colors other's view of you and you of yourself. As with all Paganism there is an active and a passive use of power. You can actively use your power or you can passively use it. Passive use could be choosing to not use it. Where as we are all more familiar with the active uses of power; orders, directives, etc. However, as with magic, the use of power has to also be...

What if the reason for (radical) feminism is the result of World War 2 Veterans suffering from PTSD and the amount of men killed? Think about the mentality of the era in general. World War 2 was from 1939 to 1945 and the USA lost a horrible 420,000 soldiers . According to a Google.com search there was 130.9 million people in the USA in 1939 with 139.9 million in 1945. The country had just come out of the Great Depression . There was still a rugged individualism in the country with most people still growing their own food and used to hard times. This makes for some very resilient people and to due to regular new constantly covering the death of the war some very traumatized people. Try to imagine living through the fear of the draft for the war, after living through the hardships of not knowing if you will be able to feed your family. Then home comes the bodies and the PTSD suffering men. What woman would not want to be able to provide for her kids if her husband wasn...

I have started writing this without a goal or topic or title. But there are things I wish to express. 1. If I have to chase you for answers, you will not find me following. I will be right where I am waiting for you to stop playing games or if I do choose to play, it will be the brat you get to deal with. 2. When the cards are down and you are not there, you will find your priority in my life to be significantly lower than prior. Being there for me takes on many forms, just like everyone's love language is different. 3. If you can't be bothered to be honest, I will leave. Say what you mean, mean what you say. It really is that simple. Life happens and it will get in the way of anyone fulfilling something they said they would do, however if it happens too much then obviously we value each other differently. 4. Your business is yours, just as mine is mine. However spreading stories about me; not cool. You will find yourself in possession of less sensitive information in v...