Just a Fool

From the Deviant Moon Tarot Deck

"I'm just a fool for you …" -Unknown

In the Tarot the Fool really is something. Never watching out where he is going, barely dodging danger if not landing flat in it. To top it all off, often ill prepared.

Reading one of my favorite bloggers John Becket on patheos.com got me triggered naturally. Seems talking, reading, listening about initiation is a great way to get me to follow the Fool in a head long rush of anger, disappointment, and regret. While the magical ties were broken, thank the gods for the motorcycle accident. I will take a physical limitation better than the constant agony of a soul raped wound. Physical limitations can be engineered around in the physical world. Soul level takes daily torment to a whole new level.

Idiots.

By the way the anniversary of the whole proving that they are truly idiots is the coming full moon. Probably explains the whole sensitivity. Idiots, not just fools. According to dictionary.com an Idiot is a person who is mentally handicapped. Where as a Fool is a person who acts unwisely or imprudently; a silly person.

No one likes to be made a fool; I am made a fool every day by my employees. A little used to it. It is not something  you ever get "used too" or "immune to." As a boss you learn to "slow your roll" or calm down before making that decision. I suppose that was the crux of the whole problem of the situation. There was an individual who was pushing in a rather indirect way on me to go a particular route. Enter my rebellious side, should have known when she rears her head to take note; also known as the Warrior Goddess Fluffy Bunny.

Creating the character Warrior Goddess Fluffy Bunny was a direct result of being called a fluffy bunny; a rather derogatory term in the pagan community which implies a lack of some type or another in the labeled person. From rabbit ears, antlers, and a fake sword, I owned that label. (When allowed a fluffy bunny tail on a plug .. wink wink) I had way too much fun making those responsible for that label cringe in my refusal to be embarrassed by it and then taking it to the nth degree. It is probably good that life got in the way before I was able to start my fluffy empire at festivals. complete with "jousts" and the like to win the crown of a particular element. I could only imagine how much my labelers would have wanted to hide from that. It does bring a particularly wicked smile to my face.

So why all the rage? Anger? Disappointment? Honestly I do not have an answer. The emotions do not run as deep, or get away from me now, like they did prior to my accident February 2018. Read get away from me now as I have stopped trolling online for fights when triggered; is it trolling when you are challenging? But either way the emotions are still there waiting for me to realize why I guess.

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