A Life Confident - Actual Intimacy - Attonement
Wow 3 big topics in one, but they do seem to be connected...
Intimacy it is a tricky thing. I am not talking about sex, physical intimacy is really not all that complicated in comparison to mental and emotional intimacy. However people will substitute physical intimacy for emotional and mental intimacy.
Intimacy it is a tricky thing. I am not talking about sex, physical intimacy is really not all that complicated in comparison to mental and emotional intimacy. However people will substitute physical intimacy for emotional and mental intimacy.
It is actual intimacy that seems to be the glue of those enviable decades long relationships though. There is something about having that assurance that no matter what you are good enough horrible bits and pure bits.
Imperfection is defiantly the reason behind my choice in pantheon to worship. The gods are not perfect and it some how makes it ok that I am not as well. It is also in the stories of how each member of the pantheon falls and gets back up that I find inspiration on how to do so in my own life as well.
Side Tracked … What is perfection? According to dictionary.com it is the state of being perfect. What if the gods, and by extension myself, are perfect as we are and this concept of horrible side is an illusion? "Bad" and "Good" are mere constructions to control people ...
The hardest part of intimacy for me is finding those who value and understand it. At least enough to understand when they have hurt me and how. It is a given that people will let you down and hurt you. The question is more of will or can they atone for these times that humanity kicks in?
Atonement is, according to dictionary.com, reparation for offense or injury. Depending on the type of reparation required depends on how easily atonement can be achieved. For me I always look more for demonstrated learning as the form of atonement; however this requires my willingness to be venerable again in some manner. I look for demonstrated learning, because I screw up and it is in our not getting it right that we learn the most. By showing that you learned something, you show me that it was not an intentional harm done. That's my theory anyway.
Back to Intimacy. It is often defined as being close. But what does that mean? Apparently sharing those parts of yourself that you consider undesirable. This sharing of faults and weakness is apparently called being venerable.
It is the intimacy of my chosen family, that I am currently separated from by my own decisions, that I am longing for these days. My decisions to sell my house, quit a perfectly good job, and live out of state. However this distance has also allowed me many things, appreciating the people in my chosen family, learning more about my biological family, and the like. I have met some really remarkable people and they have restored my faith in humanity.
Bouncing topics … Again … My current struggle is my inability to forgive a particular incident, because I refuse to allow myself to be venerable again to the persons responsible for the harm. And I know of no way in which atonement can be obtained.
Related in an obscure manner:
Something one of the best bosses I have had the pleasure of working under told me; If I stop corrected you, either you have gotten that good or I have given up on you. At that time you will know the answer of which is the case, because you will either still have a job or you will not have a job.
Side Tracked … What is perfection? According to dictionary.com it is the state of being perfect. What if the gods, and by extension myself, are perfect as we are and this concept of horrible side is an illusion? "Bad" and "Good" are mere constructions to control people ...
The hardest part of intimacy for me is finding those who value and understand it. At least enough to understand when they have hurt me and how. It is a given that people will let you down and hurt you. The question is more of will or can they atone for these times that humanity kicks in?
Atonement is, according to dictionary.com, reparation for offense or injury. Depending on the type of reparation required depends on how easily atonement can be achieved. For me I always look more for demonstrated learning as the form of atonement; however this requires my willingness to be venerable again in some manner. I look for demonstrated learning, because I screw up and it is in our not getting it right that we learn the most. By showing that you learned something, you show me that it was not an intentional harm done. That's my theory anyway.
Back to Intimacy. It is often defined as being close. But what does that mean? Apparently sharing those parts of yourself that you consider undesirable. This sharing of faults and weakness is apparently called being venerable.
It is the intimacy of my chosen family, that I am currently separated from by my own decisions, that I am longing for these days. My decisions to sell my house, quit a perfectly good job, and live out of state. However this distance has also allowed me many things, appreciating the people in my chosen family, learning more about my biological family, and the like. I have met some really remarkable people and they have restored my faith in humanity.
Bouncing topics … Again … My current struggle is my inability to forgive a particular incident, because I refuse to allow myself to be venerable again to the persons responsible for the harm. And I know of no way in which atonement can be obtained.
Related in an obscure manner:
Something one of the best bosses I have had the pleasure of working under told me; If I stop corrected you, either you have gotten that good or I have given up on you. At that time you will know the answer of which is the case, because you will either still have a job or you will not have a job.
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