I Was Somebody

 One the hardest things after a life altering event is living with the "I was somebody ..." But it is not just life altering events that can cause this, as it is a normal part of the growing and aging process. It is also the lesson of the Harvest.

The seed could say it was the child or offspring of somebody, but that does not mean the seed will grow into the same somebody or yield the same. Although repeatedly harvesting the seeds of the best adapted plants tends to increase the chances of similar or better yields. 

A plant that is flowering as well as starting to produce could claim to be somebody's offspring and promise great yields. But the yield of the plant will not be known at this time.

It is not until the end of the plant's life cycle that one can truly know the yield of that plant and if it lived up to its promise. Funny thing is the seeds produced at the end of a plant's life cycle are not always the best either as the most fruit is normally produced on the 1st harvesting, not the last.

And that is the thing about life. You will never know how it will end or if it will go well until the end. That is why having a life cycle and not being immortal is a blessing. It is also why having the release of death is a blessing as well, because life can only be rehearsed so much, and one will never know how one will react in a situation until presented with it. But we do have the reassurance that it will stop, sometime. This is possibly one reason of many, why warrior cultures tend to have a "it is a good day to die" mind set.

And I Was Somebody in a prior life that was made impossible to continue following a life changing event. How did I get through it? and Thrive after it? Because I was able to recognize that my life was changing and accept that my life was changing. I saw the Wheels' working. Let there be no doubt that there are days that I Miss being Somebody, but then I remember how Not Happy I was as Somebody. Being that person who was not happy, was quite blood thirsty, was quite aggressive, and constantly on the look out for the steps that might lead to doom is not someone I want to be any more. But if it was not for that person I was, I would not be where I am. Now there is a peace in my heart and being that prior I would  have laughed at you for suggesting possible.

This peace was won by sacrifice. 

It has also caused me to re-evaluate my life. Things that used to bring me joy, now leave realizing I was just trying to fill that void. Perhaps one could say I went from being a rather masculine version of myself to a more feminine version of myself. That being said, I wonder if I will flip back and what would bring it on.