That GTFO Menality

Picture is not mine

As a Sun Sign Scorpio I have a tendency to have that GTFO (Get The Fuck Out) mentality when you hurt me. Blow up a nuclear bomb GTFO. However I had a fellow Sun Sign Scorpio live with me for a good while. Then this weekend I went camping with some friends. Reflecting on the conversation at the camp ground and my experience living with another of my Sun Sign I have realized a few things.

The biggest thing I have realized that the GTFO mentality has to go. Yes it ensures that the person who hurt you doesn't hurt you again, but it has another side effect and it is rather sinister. This side effect is two fold; one you never really learn to forgive and two it degrades you ability to trust anyone after.

This is not to say that you should keep a person who is toxic or abusive to you in your life. Rather is it a need to define what is a toxic or abusive person to you and then decide to trigger the GTFO bomb.

Lets tackle this forgiveness concept first.
"Most psychologists recommend mustering up genuine compassion for those who have wronged us and moving on from the past, instead of allowing bitterness and anger toward others to eat away at us. Equally, and perhaps more important, is learning to acknowledge your missteps and forgive yourself. Self-forgiveness is often the first step toward a more loving and positive relationship with yourself, and therefore with others." (from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/forgiveness)
If you have thrown a person out of your life for good you cannot fully move on from the past; I know this from experience. The reason is simple, you never see if they actually learn and grow. If you are not still at least in communication with a person you will never see this learning and growing. After all it is from our mistakes that we learn the most.

Now how does trust factor into this? A big part of trusting another person is trusting yourself. Every time you banish a person from your life that has hurt you tremendously you also banish a part of yourself. In doing this you diminish yourself and as such have less to rely on to form bonds built off of trust with. Ironically it is also the part that needs the most healing.

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