That GTFO Menality

Picture is not mine

As a Sun Sign Scorpio I have a tendency to have that GTFO (Get The Fuck Out) mentality when you hurt me. Blow up a nuclear bomb GTFO. However I had a fellow Sun Sign Scorpio live with me for a good while. Then this weekend I went camping with some friends. Reflecting on the conversation at the camp ground and my experience living with another of my Sun Sign I have realized a few things.

The biggest thing I have realized that the GTFO mentality has to go. Yes it ensures that the person who hurt you doesn't hurt you again, but it has another side effect and it is rather sinister. This side effect is two fold; one you never really learn to forgive and two it degrades you ability to trust anyone after.

This is not to say that you should keep a person who is toxic or abusive to you in your life. Rather is it a need to define what is a toxic or abusive person to you and then decide to trigger the GTFO bomb.

Lets tackle this forgiveness concept first.
"Most psychologists recommend mustering up genuine compassion for those who have wronged us and moving on from the past, instead of allowing bitterness and anger toward others to eat away at us. Equally, and perhaps more important, is learning to acknowledge your missteps and forgive yourself. Self-forgiveness is often the first step toward a more loving and positive relationship with yourself, and therefore with others." (from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/forgiveness)
If you have thrown a person out of your life for good you cannot fully move on from the past; I know this from experience. The reason is simple, you never see if they actually learn and grow. If you are not still at least in communication with a person you will never see this learning and growing. After all it is from our mistakes that we learn the most.

Now how does trust factor into this? A big part of trusting another person is trusting yourself. Every time you banish a person from your life that has hurt you tremendously you also banish a part of yourself. In doing this you diminish yourself and as such have less to rely on to form bonds built off of trust with. Ironically it is also the part that needs the most healing.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Living the Wheel of the Year - Building Community and Family

While at Florida Pagan Gathering for their Samhain celebration at Maddox Ranch I hit upon a topic that I don't really hear spoken about much, but is really critical for building community and ultimately for creating your own "chosen family". We, as in all Pagans etc., talk about and worship the Wheel of the Year, but how many actually apply this to their lives? There are many of us who fall into the Spring and Summer only people category. As in we are only there when things are new, the work easy, and food/reward plentiful. The trick is to also be or find the people who are there for the Autumn and Winter parts of life. When there is a lot of work and times are hard. I get it. It is very difficult to be there for people when they need a lot of work or when they are going through hard times. It is also the responsibility of the person experiencing the Autumn or Winter to appropriately use the resources others can give and not expect them to cause an Autumn or Winter...
Read more

Blood Magic

Blood Magic Blood magic can be quite potent if you’re inclined to do it, and if you know what you’re doing. It should not be undertaken lightly, or carelessly; but it doesn’t deserve the ‘taboo’ stamp that many are quick to give it. The Power of Blood Blood is associated with death: the slain warriors on the field, the victim of violence, the hunter’s prey all lay bloody in their final state. Blood is also associated with life: it’s part of the cycle of fertility that perpetuates life. If you lost too much blood, you would grow weak and die. If your blood is tainted, you will wither. Blood is associated with pain: you see it when you stumble and fall, have an accident, or fight. Blood is also associated with passion: when you love doing something, when you are good at it, it’s ‘in your blood’. Someone you love, particularly family members, are your ‘blood’. Blood connects you to things, or others. Even if you don’t know someone, you can empathize with them, your ‘heart bleeds for th...
Read more

Worship Wheel

I have had this building yearning to create a system of worship beyond what I have been doing. What I have been doing has been rather simple, burn sage morning and night, with an incense stick on the weekend. But my heart is calling for something more. Mostly the method of worship I know is Wiccan. Wiccan and I can work together, but there is much we don't agree on too. While there are some who would just go with Wiccan, because they know it and are familiar, it is just not my way. I have issues, deep rooted ones that have been fed and watered by Wiccans, with calling myself Wiccan. Because of these issues I will not sign my name to back a Wiccan of any stripe; that is part of who I am. Add to it I have recently adopted the Norse Pantheon. The Norse God's and I seem to play well together so far. This maybe my home. The 9 tenants are things I was brought up to revere and have proven worthy of continued following. But the problem is ... I have no clue what regular worship is ...
Read more