Trust and Learning to Trust
At work our head of security is moving on with life leaving a vacancy. Some coworkers, either intentionally or not, made sure to bring it to my attention. You see I have 18 years experience in Safety & Security with the appropriate experience for the job opening.
There is one proplem however, the motorcycle accident that almost made me an amputee and has crippled me for life also taught me to trust again. You see there are certain fields of work out there that just make you less inclined to trust people. Security and Law Enforcement are just two of them. I would imagine that a certain level of management would also cause a learned responce of not trusting others. Having been in a role that my employees were just as apt to do wonderful things as there were to turn on me like a pack of rabid wolves and reporting to a board that was constantly looking for faults to explot for their personal agendas, I know for a fact that there are certain roles out there that will cause to you not trust.
So what was so pivotal about the accident? Well it wasn't the accident it's self, but rather the after that made the difference. I learned a lot.
I had people I didn't know who cared reach out at express their well wishes. Some in cases I had not heard from since high school and some of those who were antagonistic to me in high school. Then there was the glaringly vacant voices, those who used pretty words but those words were obviously empty. The community I worked for even took up a donation to help me with bills and sent a get well bouquet of flowers. Employees called me, ok mostly because there were issues needing resolving, but they did at least ask how I was before getting to their problems.
I had a friend, inequivalently tell me it was happening, stay over night with me until my mom could make it into town. I kinda got out of the hospital faster than any one expected. Before my mom was in town and when she started working in my area (them bills don't pay themselves) I had friends stopping by during the day or calling to check on me. Once the wounds had closed over I had a friend who was versed in wheel chairs and had the same gym membership as I help me get to the gym pool. I tell you, that pool saved my sanity. Being able to move mostly normally really gave me the confidence boost that I would actually beat this crippling situation I needed.
While I still look for the angles people are working, I doubt that will change, and what they get out of whatever it is; I learned to trust. Not the ok to run over me trust, but the you tried and found you were human trust. The trust that not everyone is out to take advantage of you and most of the time they are just being human when they fail.
It is this trust that I am unwilling to let go of.
It is also this trust that has allowed me to forgive a great many things, because it casts a new light on things.
There is one proplem however, the motorcycle accident that almost made me an amputee and has crippled me for life also taught me to trust again. You see there are certain fields of work out there that just make you less inclined to trust people. Security and Law Enforcement are just two of them. I would imagine that a certain level of management would also cause a learned responce of not trusting others. Having been in a role that my employees were just as apt to do wonderful things as there were to turn on me like a pack of rabid wolves and reporting to a board that was constantly looking for faults to explot for their personal agendas, I know for a fact that there are certain roles out there that will cause to you not trust.
So what was so pivotal about the accident? Well it wasn't the accident it's self, but rather the after that made the difference. I learned a lot.
I had people I didn't know who cared reach out at express their well wishes. Some in cases I had not heard from since high school and some of those who were antagonistic to me in high school. Then there was the glaringly vacant voices, those who used pretty words but those words were obviously empty. The community I worked for even took up a donation to help me with bills and sent a get well bouquet of flowers. Employees called me, ok mostly because there were issues needing resolving, but they did at least ask how I was before getting to their problems.
I had a friend, inequivalently tell me it was happening, stay over night with me until my mom could make it into town. I kinda got out of the hospital faster than any one expected. Before my mom was in town and when she started working in my area (them bills don't pay themselves) I had friends stopping by during the day or calling to check on me. Once the wounds had closed over I had a friend who was versed in wheel chairs and had the same gym membership as I help me get to the gym pool. I tell you, that pool saved my sanity. Being able to move mostly normally really gave me the confidence boost that I would actually beat this crippling situation I needed.
While I still look for the angles people are working, I doubt that will change, and what they get out of whatever it is; I learned to trust. Not the ok to run over me trust, but the you tried and found you were human trust. The trust that not everyone is out to take advantage of you and most of the time they are just being human when they fail.
It is this trust that I am unwilling to let go of.
It is also this trust that has allowed me to forgive a great many things, because it casts a new light on things.
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