Grief and Trauma Healing

 

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It is interesting. According to societies norms we do not set out to receive or experience grief or trauma. Yet life is full of it, right from the moment that we are first brought from the womb into the world.

So perhaps avoiding grief and trauma are not the way to go?

We’ve learned that negative experiences can spur positive change, including a recognition of personal strength, the exploration of new possibilities, improved relationships, a greater appreciation for life, and spiritual growth. We see this in people who have endured war, natural disasters, bereavement, job loss and economic stress, serious illnesses and injuries. (2)

Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG) refers to what can happen when someone who has difficulty bouncing back experiences a traumatic event that challenges his or her core beliefs, endures psychological struggle (even a mental illness such as post-traumatic stress disorder), and then ultimately finds a sense of personal growth. (1)

To evaluate whether and to what extent someone has achieved growth after a trauma, psychologists use a variety of self-report scales. One that was developed by Tedeschi and Calhoun is the Post-Traumatic Growth Inventory (PTGI) (Journal of Traumatic Stress, 1996). It looks for positive responses in five areas: (1)

Appreciation of life.

Relationships with others.

New possibilities in life.

Personal strength.

Spiritual change.

There appear to be two traits that make some more likely to experience PTG, says Tedeschi: openness to experience and extraversion. That's because people who are more open are more likely to reconsider their belief systems, says Tedeschi, and extroverts are more likely to be more active in response to trauma and seek out connections with others. (1)

To move through trauma to growth, one must first get educated about what the former is: a disruption of core belief systems. When our assumptions are challenged, it is confusing and frightening and tends to produce anxious, repetitive thinking: Why did this happen? Who’s in control? What should I do now? We are forced to rethink who we are, what kind of people surround us, what world we live in, and what future we will have. It can be extremely painful. But as research shows, it can also usher in change that will be of value. We must begin by learning and understanding that truth. (2)

To do any learning, one must be in the right frame of mind. That starts with managing negative emotions such as anxiety, guilt, and anger, which can be done by shifting the kind of thinking that leads to those feelings. Instead of focusing on losses, failures, uncertainties, and worst-case scenarios, try to recall successes, consider best-case possibilities, reflect on your own or your organization’s resources and preparation, and think reasonably about what you—personally and as a group—can do. (2)

This is the part of the process in which you talk about what has happened and is happening: its effects—both small and broad, short- and long-term, personal and professional, individual and organizational—and what you are struggling with in its wake. Articulating these things helps us to make sense of the trauma and turn debilitating thoughts into more-productive reflections.(2)

The next step is to produce an authentic narrative about the trauma and our lives afterward so that we can accept the chapters already written and imagine crafting the next ones in a meaningful way. Your story—and the stories of people you’re helping—can and should be about a traumatic past that leads to a better future. (2)

What if the world is undergoing a profound call to initiation?  An opportunity for the transformation of consciousness that could awaken us to a deeper, more authentic, more connected way of being? In traditional cultures, initiation rites are consciously integrated into the fabric of society, forcing its young members to begin a quest of some sort, without the support of the tribe. Next, something happens that is physically, emotionally, or psychically rupturing, and the initiate fears she will not survive the test.  Finally, having confronted her fears, and risen to the challenge, the initiate returns to the tribe where the depth of her learning is celebrated as she is welcomed back as a wiser, more respected member of the tribe. (3)

Ancient myths from the beginning of time have articulated the challenges and gifts of the hero’s journey. The opportunity for renewal that trauma affords is held deep within our collective psyche.  More recently, the term “post-traumatic growth” describes how many underworld travelers, or trauma victims report transformative outcomes from staying committed to a process of personal growth and development.  Gifts of the journey include: 1) claiming the strength that allows them to survive horrifying experiences, 2) relating to others with more openness and compassion, 3) seeing new possibilities for meaningful service as their priorities shift, 4) a greater appreciation of life where they may have taken things for granted and 5) an enhanced ability to find meaning in life. (3)

Resources:

1. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2016/11/growth-trauma

2. https://hbr.org/2020/07/growth-after-trauma

3. http://www.astorybookworld.com/2020/04/trauma-as-initiation-by-carrie-ishee.html